


Night Talks

by Bini_28



Series: The Most Important Person [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Basically everyone is there, Confessions, Deep Conversations, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Training Camp, both cant handle feelings, but not serious stuff mostly casual and nice, suga and yamaguchi bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26032798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bini_28/pseuds/Bini_28
Summary: Yamaguchi has a problem, and Suga, being the team's main emotional support source, sits with him for a talk at the training camp.Apparently, the two of them share a very similar problem.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: The Most Important Person [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948648
Comments: 5
Kudos: 186





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo first fic here! It's actually the first thing I wrote in about 3 years, but I recently got really hooked on Haikyuu and this fic has really got me back into writing again, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Suga thought everybody would be asleep by now. Daichi announced that if he's going to see anyone awake past midnight, they're gonna do double the penalties if they lose their practice matches tomorrow, though, as Tanaka mentioned, it means Daichi himself would have to stay awake past midnight to check. Daichi brushed it off and was already slowly breathing, slightly snoring, at five past twelve. This was when Suga suddenly needed to pee, and it couldn't wait until morning. He looked toward the direction Daichi was supposed to be in, right next to him. He didn't see anything in the darkness, but Daichi was definitely asleep. Suga could tell by how calm his breath was. 

Suga carefully got up and walked between the mattresses to the door. Luckily, he didn't step on anyone's head. The hallway was dimly lit, and Suga reached the bathroom safely.   
Suddenly, he heard a flushing noise, a door swinging open and close and a tap running. Suga got out of the toilet and recognized his dark haired underclassman. He saw the freckled face in the mirror, but something was going on. It might've been the lightning or tiredness, but Yamaguchi's eyes lacked their usual energy. He turned as he heard Suga's footsteps behind him. 

"why aren't you in bed?" Yamaguchi asked.   
"I had to pee," Suga answered simply. "you?"   
"...same" Yamaguchi's reply was hesitant, as if he wasn't telling everything. "let's head back", he said as Suga finished washing his hands.   
"Actually, can I talk to you for a bit?" Suga asked. He was worried about the younger boy, and he felt some sort of responsibility, as a third-year. Suga realized the two of them had a lot in common, but they never had a proper conversation out of practice. Yamaguchi looked surprised at the suggestion. "We really should sleep. Daichi said-"  
"Daichis asleep, and we can afford to lose another few minutes of rest" Suga looked at Yamaguchi's eyes. He didn't have the word to describe the feeling in these eyes, but he knew he experienced it well. They started walking down the hallway, in the opposite direction of the bedrooms.

"How was the first day of training camp? It's your first one ever, right?" Suga asked. Empty question, but he needed to start talking somehow. Suga expected a short, reluctant answer, but Yamaguchi was surprisingly honest.  
"I wish I could play more. I know I'm no match to the other first years, let alone you guys. But if even Kageyama and Hinata can't win a set against Fukurodani, what chance do I have?" Suga stayed in silence for a few seconds, because Yamaguchi phrased exactly how he himself felt since the genius setter joined the group.  
"hey, at least you have the next year, and the one after it-" Suga started.  
"But it'll be different. You won't be here, and Daichi-San and Asahi-san and Kyoko-San. I know we're getting better as a group, but sometimes I don't feel like I'm a part of the improvement." Suga took his time to reply again. Yamaguchi said exactly the things he avoided talking about, yet were always on his mind. After two years of failure and losses, the group was rising up again, but it wasn't thanks to him, not at all.  
"It's not true", Yamaguchi said, and Suga realized he spoke out loud as they silently went out the door to the small yard outside of the building. Visible by the light of a single lamppost, there were a few blooming bushes, numerous trees and a white wooden bench. They walked together and sat on it. "You have no idea how essential you are to the group. You are, like, 90% of the team's morale. We all know how important Nishinoya is to Asahi-San, but I am sure you are one of the reasons he still has motivation to play. Daichi-San can be such a good captain only when he knows you are there to support him." Suga felt his cheeks get a little warm. It was odd, being comforted by a boy two years younger, when Suga intended for it to be the other way around.   
"It's the same about you, you know," Suga said, trying to turn the conversation towards Yamaguchi. He didn't particularly like talking about himself, and wasn't the best at accepting compliments. "you give everyone motivation. Mainly Tsukishima, even if he doesn't show it." as soon as he mentioned Tsukishima, Yamaguchi lowered his glance and mumbled something like "Idontthinkso". Suga looked at him. It was obvious Yamaguchi is the only person Tsukishima could consider a friend. Yamaguchi continued talking, encouraged by Suga's smile. 

"I have known Tsukki for years now. I know he is the most introverted introvert to exist, but he usually finds ways to let me know he actually cares about me, showing kindness even when he is mean to everyone else. But recently, he isn't doing even that. I think... I think he's trying not to get attached to the team, distance himself," Suga nodded, he noticed that too, "but I feel like it also makes him distance himself from me." All of Yamaguchi's pent up frustration came out in this sentence. It was probably the first time he voiced that feeling out loud. He bit his lip. "I didn't want to say it, because that would make it real. But it is real, I can't deny it."   
Suga was silent again. Yamaguchi kept talking. "I mean, we always walk home together, but last week, he started walking faster, knowing I can't keep up. And today at practice he didn't bother to look at my direction even once, when I tried to cheer him up. These are such minor things I know. There might be another explanation - he was in a rush, he needed to concentrate on the game. But it still bothers me, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm sorry. I talk too much, y-you said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Yamaguchi curled up on the bench.   
There was nothing in particular Suga wanted to talk about. He just wanted to talk to Yamaguchi, get to know him better. He did want to ask him about Tsukishima, actually, to know how Yamaguchi can tell his friend actually cares about him. Apparently, it was another trait they shared - the constant fear that his closest friends don't really like him, or prefer other people. He felt that way with Daichi recently. Suga knew his classmate has enough space in his heart for the whole team, but this year has been so intense for him, and often he seemed a bit distant, worried or just very deep in thought of what's best for Karasunos volleyball club.   
"nothing in particular, actually. I just saw something was going on with you and felt you need to let it out". Suga answered him. Yamaguchi looked surprised. Being Tsukishima's only friend, he probably wasn't used to being directly asked how he's doing.   
"Thank you" Yamaguchi mumbled. "Did you ever feel that way?"   
Damn, Sugawara thought, this boy can literally read his thoughts.   
"umm... Yeah." Suga said. "I think the best thing to do is just to be honest about it." he laughed at himself. As if he is ever going to tell Daichi how he made him feel. Daichi has enough on his mind, that was Sugas excuse. He doesn't need to be bothered with Sugas feelings. But he wanted to help Yamaguchi, who looked so helpless, not sure what to do without his friend's attention.   
"of course I need to be honest, but have you ever talked to Tsukki? Like, really talked" Suga shook his head. When he thought about it, he never had a proper conversation with Tsukishima. He had nothing against him, but he was honestly quite intimidated by the tall, grumpy guy. Yamaguchi continued, "it's not that easy. Sometimes, he just won't listen because he feels things are too personal and he wants to stay away from this. With me he's a little different" Yamaguchi might have blushed, Suga wasn't sure in the darkness. "he hardly opens up to me, but he does listen. I mean, mostly. Sometimes just when I want to talk to him, he will avoid me". Suga nodded, to show he's listening, but he wasn't sure what to say. 

Then, a light appeared in one of the windows on the first floor, they heard coach Ukai grunting a phrase that included "at almost 2 AM", and the light disappeared.   
"two am??" Yamaguchi got up from the bench. Suga didn't realize it's been so long, but he felt really comfortable opening up to Yamaguchi, even a little bit, and he was glad the other boy felt the same.   
"we should probably head back." Suga got up too and put a hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder, hating the fact the younger guy was 8 centimeters taller than him. "I really appreciate you telling me all this." Yamaguchi nodded. "I'm always here" Suga added and Yamaguchi smiled at him.   
"You can also talk to me, you know," Yamaguchi said. "I know I talk too much, but I can also listen". The two started walking inside, careful not to make noise.  
When they returned to the room, they whispered good night and each turned to his bed. Suga found out Daichi rolled around in his sleep and took half of Sugas mattress. He tried to push him back as gently as he could, but he was too gentle, so Daichi didn't move. Suga lay down in the small space Daichi left on the mattress, thinking this would probably be the closest he would get to him. The exhaustion finally got to him, and he fell asleep easily.


	2. Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second day of the training camp, Yamaguchi is trying to approach Tsukishima

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't wait to post another chapter oops

The room was full of light and noise, but Yamaguchi hid deep under his blanket and pillow. He was extremely tired, but he couldn't block the sound of eleven other teenagers getting ready. He curled up to an even smaller ball of blankets.

"you were DEFINITELY spooning with Suga", Yamaguchi overheard the voice that belonged undoubtedly to Tanaka.  
"I was not!" Daichis voice?  
"His arm was around your waist when we woke up, I saw it" This one was probably Nishinoya. Daichi started to answer but then changed the subject. "Yamaguchi is still sleeping, can you wake him up?" Yamaguchi didn't know who was addressed, but the answer came quickly as his blanket was removed and an orange, smiling face appeared in front of him. Yamaguchi blinked at the sudden light and tried to take his blanket back, but Hinata threw it across the room.   
"Hinata!" this one was definitely Tsukki, he'd recognize him from miles. He approached them and towered over the mattress.   
"good morning Tsukki" Yamaguchi mumbled, and hoped the lack of response was caused by the noise in the room, making his tired voice unheard.

Meanwhile, the door opened. "Sugaaa! Were you spooning with Daichi? Nishinoya shouted. Yamaguchi looked toward the door to see Suga, his hair wet like he washed his face in the sink. Even from his mattress, he could see him blush.  
"what? No. He was rolling onto my mattress all night long, though."  
"You were totally hugging him earlier," Tanaka insisted.  
"and I wasn't rolling in my sleep!" Daichi protested. Yamaguchi slowly rose up to sitting.

According to his phone clock, he went to sleep at about 1:45am, but thoughts bothered him until much later hours. That talk with Suga was well needed, as his feelings were piling up for a few months now. Before falling asleep, he tried to convince himself Tsukki did care about him, and reminding himself of every time Tsukki showed any affection towards him in the past month. There weren't many.  
Yamaguchi was dozing off during breakfast, and the only thing keeping him awake was Hinata's laugh every time his head almost dropped into his plate, and the cup of coffee Suga insisted on making for him. Suga looked just as tired. He was sitting across the table, talking to Asahi, but there were dark circles under his eyes. Yamaguchi wanted to continue their conversation, but they did not find the time until after dinner.  
The day was hectic, they played about 15 sets, only winning one against Shinzen. Yamaguchi stood on the sideline in most of them, and so did Suga. They cheered for the others as they usually do, but their dissatisfaction was visible. In one of the matches, Yamaguchi got them to set point with two successful serves in a row, but then messed up completely and Fukurodani won the set. The serious look Tsukki shot him hurt his heart, and Suga sent him a comforting smile as they started their penalty.

After dinner, a few people gathered at the gym to keep practicing. Tsukki left without saying a word, and Suga looked at Yamaguchi, then at the door, trying to say "now's your chance". Yamaguchi walked nervously after him.  
"Hey, Tsukki!" he called. Tsukki was about 20 meters ahead, but he turned around.   
"what?"  
At this moment, Yamaguchi realized he didn't really know what to say. He was mad Tsukki had ignored him so often, he was frustrated from the feeling Tsukki didn't care, he was confused by the uncertainty of Tsukkis opinion about him, and honestly, at this moment, he just wanted to be with his friend, the two of them. Of course, he couldn't just say any of those things right now.  
"do you... Do you want to have practice?" Yamaguchi asked, and before Tsukki could decline, he added, "not with everyone, just us.", hoping Tsukki would agree.  
"no, I'm tired, I had enough matches today." Tsukki said and started walking again. Yamaguchi considered following him to the bedroom, but he started feeling a bulk in his throat. He can't let Tsukki see him so emotional about this little thing. So he remained sitting in the hallway, concentrating on counting floor tiles instead of thinking. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps. Shit. He thought he didn't really want to talk to most people, but it was Suga.

"hey, Yamaguchi! We were about to start a small game, but we're an odd number, so they sent me to look for another player-- hey, what's wrong?" he said as he got closer and noticed Yamaguchi's sad face. Yamaguchi shook his head, swallowing hard and hoping he will be able to speak properly." "Same as yesterday," he said silently, when Suga was close enough to hear. "how am I supposed to talk to him when I don't even know what to say?" his voice trembled.  
Suga reached out his arm and helped Yamaguchi up. "let's go outside again? The others can play without me. Do you want me to make you tea first? There's a room for the captains and vice-captains on the first floor and there's a kettle over there." Yamaguchi nodded gratefully, and the two walked silently. Yamaguchi's thoughts were a mess, and as the tea was ready and the two sat outside, he started rambling, spilling everything without any particular sense. Soon the tears started to fall. Yamaguchi's voice became unclear and he sniffed, apologizing for being so dramatic over such a little thing. He did feel like he was overreacting. Tsukki was tired, that's all. He was tired tonight, and focused today at the game, and impatient yesterday and there were so many other reasons he might not want company, and he tried not to think it was because he didn't like him. But all Yamaguchi wanted was to see Tsukki happy, and it hurt him to see him trying to distance himself to be "happy". He said all that while sitting on the bench, wiping his nose on a tissue Suga gave him (apparently, Suga always kept a pack of tissue with him, for any case). Suga sat next to him, and hugged his shoulder. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, letting Yamaguchi speak. Yamaguchi wasn't sure what he was thinking. Was he worried about him? Annoyed he somehow got involved in his mess? He apologized again. 

"it's okay. Yamaguchi, it's okay to be sad, or hurt, and you have a good reason. Tsukishima is your closest friend, of course you want to be there with him when he's happy, of course you'd want his attention." Suga half-smiled, like this conversation reminded him of something.   
"He's too good for me," Yamaguchi mumbled. The sentence just burst out of his mouth. He truly thought this way for years, but never said it. Tsukki was taller, smarter, better at school, a better volleyball player, many girls seemed to like him, though he turned all of them down. Tsukki was good looking indeed, Yamaguchi had to admit. He was everything Yamaguchi wasn't.   
"that's not true." Suga said immediately. "he might be a better volleyball player, but he isn't nearly as kind, funny or caring as you. I don't think he ever made anyone smile like you do. Whatever the problem in your friendship is, it's not caused by you 'not being good enough'."   
"Thank you," Yamaguchi said. He totally disagreed with Suga, but his terrible self-esteem was a subject for another day. He breathed deeply.   
"it might have not worked out today, but I bet you'll find the chance and the right words to talk to him."  
"can I have another hug?" Yamaguchi said quietly. He was quite fond of hugs and physical affection, but once again, it barely happened with Tsukki. Suga embraced him tightly until Yamaguchi was much calmer. Suga had good hugs, and his shoulder was just the right height to bury his face in.   
"Maybe we should go to sleep," Suga said. "you're tired. So am I"   
"I don't want to go back inside like this. If I look even a bit like how I feel. I don't want anyone asking questions."  
"there's a rear entrance, also, it's early enough, everyone is outside playing so the showers are empty. Take a shower and you'll feel much better." they stood up, the now cold cardboard tea cup left on the bench, untouched. 

The only one in the shower was a first year from another school he didn't remember. Yamaguchi was sure the guy didn't remember him either. Just another useless team member.   
By the time he finished the shower, Yamaguchi was much calmer, but he still wasn't ready to face Tsukki, who was sitting on the mattress next to his headphones on. Yamaguchi stood at the door, his eyes on the verge of tears again. Suga squeezed his shoulder. "you don't have to speak to him right now, just go to sleep. Good night" Suga said quietly, and Yamaguchi stumbled to his bed, once again burying himself inside the blankets. He thought he saw Tsukki glance at him for a second, maybe he noticed the puffy eyes and red nose. It didn't matter right now. Surprisingly, he fell asleep quickly.


	3. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugas POV again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no update, sorry, things have been super busy, but here we go.

Despite how exhausted he was, Suga didn't go to sleep. He knew if he fell asleep now, he'd just wake up as soon as the rest of the group entered the room. Suga sat on his mattress for a few minutes, looking at the grumpy Tsukishima and the sleeping Yamaguchi. Suga was glad Yamaguchi talked to him, and he wanted to help, but he knew that everything he'll say will be empty words, things he knows that need to be said and done but he'll never have the courage to actually say or do himself. Just as he thought it, Daichi entered the room. He was sweaty, a towel around his neck.  
"There you are! You didn't come back to the gym earlier, so we played without you. Where have you been?" Daichi asked.   
"Yamaguchi... Needed some help." Suga didn't give the details. Daichi looked at the pile of blankets that was Yamaguchi, he looked a little worried. It's been a running joke in the club that Daichi was the team's father, and he proved it true every single time. "he's asleep now, he had a rough day" Suga added. Daichi nodded.   
"I'm heading to the shower, I only need to take my clothes," he said and took a shirt out of his bag. As he disappeared, Suga thought of last night. He didn't MEAN to hug Daichi, but the other boy was so close to him, and Suga was used to hugging his big plushy as he slept, so it just happened. It was quite comfortable, honestly. 

Suga knew what he was feeling towards Daichi. It took him a few months to admit it to himself, and he never told anyone, not even Asahi. They've been friends for two and a half years, but only some when during their second year Suga started seeing Daichi in a different light.  
He remembered that day clearly - they had won a match, a rare occasion, thanks to a great receive Daichi did. Daichi looked so happy at the moment, his smile shining toward Suga. For weeks, Suga thought about that smile. A few weeks later, he was watching a movie with Asahi, and there was some romantic scene when the girl told her crush about how beautiful his smile is. Shit. Can this be? Then, there has been another few months of big confusion about what it all means. There was a girl he dated in Junior High for a few months, and he liked her, but when he thought about it, there were a few guys that stayed in his mind for a while. For now, he decided not to put any label on it. He simply had a very strong crush on one of his best friends, who was busy with a thousand other things besides their friendship.   
He didn't plan on doing anything about it. Daichi would not want relationships to mess up the team's dynamic, and that's in case he even had any kind of romantic feelings towards Suga.   
Suga spent the rest of the evening chatting with the rest of the group, and going to sleep around midnight. Tonight, Daichi stayed on his own mattress. 

Another morning, another set they lost, another penalty. Then, in one game, Kageyama jumped to block and the ball hit his wrist with great force. He clutched it with pain as he fell. Luckily Nishinoya quickly received the ball and they managed to score, but Kageyama had to step aside to get his wrist checked. Daichi said it's probably not that bad, but he should rest. Kageyama looked very unhappy, and Suga felt a little bad about being happy he had a chance to play. The game was going great. Suga felt good, being on the court with his two classmates. They had great cooperation, and opened a five point gap. Suga missed the feeling of being so close to Daichi when he was happiest. They won the set, but in the next one Kageyama felt good enough to play again. Suga stepped aside, standing next to Yamaguchi, who looked like his usual self - energetic, excited, and cheering on Tsukishima every few minutes. There still seemed to be something bothering him, and after dinner, he was the one to start the conversation with Suga. 

"how can I talk to him?" Yamaguchi sounded desperate. "everything was okay today, but I still feel like I have to talk to him, so we're both... Aware of the situation."  
Today they remained sitting in the dining hall, but they were the only ones there.   
"you need to think what you want to say to him. I know there are probably many things, so you need to sort them out in your head. What is your problem with your friendship, as it is now?" Suga tried to sound like he knew what he was doing.   
"Tsukki is probably the most important person in my life. I would do literally anything for him. I want to know I'm important too. I made other friends here in the team, but no one compares to him. When he ignores me, I will be much more offended than if anyone else does. Sadly, it happens a lot." Yamaguchi said. Suga understood the feeling he described, he knew it well, how hard it is when your favourite person gives more attention to others.   
"You know Tsukishima for years, wasn't he always like this?" Suga asked   
"oh no, he was. It took me time to get used to him, but it was all okay for most of the time. I don't know why it bothers me so much more now. I'm just making a big deal out of it."   
"don't blame yourself. You care about Tsukishima, it makes sense."  
"but I can't blame him! It isn't fair for him. He has every right to want to be alone. I don't want to tell him anything that sounds like I think it's his fault. He doesn't need it in his mind."  
"but you can't be mad at yourself for caring. Sometimes, Tsukishima takes things as obvious, maybe you can remind him of how much you love him, or care about it."  
"what if he pushes me away? He hates being showed any affection"   
"maybe something is going on with him? Try asking him when you two are alone."  
Yamaguchi looked at Suga for a few seconds, considering his suggestion. "I can try... I'll ask him what's going on, I'll tell him I'm here for anything he needs. Maybe it will help. I can try." He didn't sound convinced. Suga really didn't know what he could do to help him, given that he was in his own, similar problem.  
He wondered what kind of feelings Yamaguchi felt toward Tsukishima. Every time he mentioned his friend, Yamaguchi looked like how Suga felt when talking about Daichi. Some kind of pride, mixed with warmth and comfort. Tsukishima and Daichi were very different people - Tsukishima being distant, close and sometimes mean, and Daichi being caring, sincere and appreciated by everyone - so their problems were different. Yamaguchi's problem was coming from the fact Tsukishima didn't show anyone any affection, even the one closest to him. Sugas problem was Daichi showed affection to everyone. It might be selfish and unfair, but deep in his heart, he wanted Daichi to be his. Not completely, obviously, but it would be nice to know he has a special place in the captain's heart.  
"It will be okay," Suga said reassuringly. "every relationship has its ups and downs." he remembered the time he and Daichi fought last year. Being in practice was almost unbearable and he was pretty sure Asahi forced Daichi to apologise because he couldn't stand the tension. It wasn't a big deal looking back, but it was a reminder things can go wrong, and that Daichi will do anything to prevent personal issues that might ruin the team's spirit. Such as any romantic feelings. After a few seconds of being lost in thought, he continued. "you will get through this, and if you want to, I can try to talk to Tsukishima too."  
"he won't let you." Yamaguchi said. "wait. Maybe I should try being more direct than just asking what's wrong? Saying something like... I don't know."  
"I think you would be okay anyway. Just go with what feels right at the moment."  
"tomorrow", Yamaguchi said. He didn't sound tired, he was probably stressed more than before hitting a serve. The conversation was by the owlish face of Bokuto, Fukurodanis captain appearing at the door.   
"yo! Karasuno guys! Have you seen your tall middle blocker? Tsukki I think?" Suga looked at Yamaguchi's dissatisfied face hearing the nickname. "me and Kuroo wanted to ask him to join our practice" Suga shook his head. Tsukishima probably headed right back to the room, like every evening. "Oh well. Do you two want to join? I barely saw you play, gonna be interesting. Kuroo is looking for your captain to join too" Bokuto continued. Suga once again looked at Yamaguchi. He wanted to go practice some more, but he wasn't sure his junior was in the mood. Yamaguchi nodded and they went after Bokuto. The practice wasn't long, about 30 minutes before they decided they were tired. Daichi walked next to Suga on their way to the main building.

"How's camp for you so far?" Suga asked, starting a conversation. It was the third day out of five, only two days to go.  
"it's pretty amazing. I never imagined we could get in touch with Tokyo's powerhouse schools. We may be losing often, but we came a long way. I think we're the best team Karasuno had in years"  
"it's thanks to you too. Every group needs a leader, and you're just the right guy. We can all count on you, trust you completely."  
"really? Would you tell me anything?" Suga was confused by Daichi's question. He did tell him everything. Everything except one, of course.  
"Daichi, you're my best friend. You and Asahi know basically everything about me. Even the embarrassing stories from my childhood."  
"And that's why I know you best, and I can tell something is bothering you." how the hell did he know? Was Suga so easy to read?  
"I... I know I'm the one always cheering Asahi about it, but I am worried about the fact it's our last year, and it's not as fulfilling as I thought it would be. It's my last chance to play on a school team, but I'm standing on the sideline." Suga said the least dramatic of the burdens on his heart. He felt bad doing even that. Daichi was the captain, he didn't want to guilt trip him in any way to let him play again. "it's okay though. I know Kageyama's amazing. I'm glad we're improving." he added. Daichi chuckled and Suga's heart melted a little.  
"You're one of the best setters I know, but volleyball rules are what they are. I'm sorry it is this way" Daichi said sincerely as they reached their room, took their clothes and headed to the shower. "and I have to say, just your presence makes everyone do better, especially me." just like Yamaguchi said. Suga looked at his feet. He wanted to tell Daichi it was the other way around - he was the greatest motivation for Suga. His presence made Suga want to prove himself, to be his best self. He also wanted to give Daichi the biggest hug and remain there forever. But they reached the crowded shower so he simply said "thanks". When he finished his shower, Daichi wasn't there, he didn't wait for him. Suga tried to not let it bother him. Daichi had other things to do, and the shower room was messy and noisy.   
It was already quite late, and a few minutes later, Daichi called everyone into the bedroom and turned the lights off. Suga heard Tanaka and Nishinoya whisper a few meters from him, until Daichi raised his voice a bit and silence fell. Suga knew Daichi was right next to him, but not close enough. He hugged his pillow and fell asleep.


	4. Relationship

The next morning, all Yamaguchi could think about was Tsukki. He thought about him a lot in normal days, too, the guy being his best friend for years. Yet, at the training camp, these thoughts became more and more annoying. he kept trying to find chances to talk to Tsukki - during breakfast, between sets. He kept re-running different scenarios in his head - if he’ll say this, Tsukki will probably say that, and that’s not good. Maybe if he will rephrase it? nothing sounded good in his mind.  
Calm down, he told himself, You had countless conversations with Tsukki without rehearsing, you can do this one too. But most of their conversations didn’t involve the state of their friendship, and normally, Yamaguchi wouldn’t feel like every word may risk his relationship with Tsukki.

This was nerve-racking. He couldn't concentrate on anything, and messed up every time he tried to serve. He was so excited for this training camp, a chance for him to learn new serves, tosses and receives, and maybe feel a little less useless on the team. Instead, his mind was stuck on this minor issue he made a huge deal about. Every time he tried to concentrate on the game, his thoughts turned back to Tsukki, imagining conversations that will probably never happen unless he’ll do something. Maybe he shouldn't have told Suga how he feels, because it made it an actual issue, not just Yamaguchi's fears.  
Coach Ukai tried not to get mad, but after a series of missed serves, he had a short talk with the Pinch Server. The conclusion he reached was that the pressure of the new, unfamiliar setting of the training camp is affecting Yamaguchi, and he's not able to play his best. Yamaguchi wished this was the reason, at least it made some sense.

As usual, Tsukki left the dining hall first after lunch. Yamaguchi looked at Suga for encouragement, the older boy nodded and smiled while he ran out after Tsukki.  
“Hey, Tsukki!” he called out after him, like he did two days ago. Tsukki stopped, waiting for Yamaguchi to catch up, then continued walking.

“Do you need something?” Tsukki asked in his usual, quiet voice, as he kept walking.  
“wait, can you, umm, stop for a second?” Yamaguchi stammered. Tsukki stopped and glanced at him. Yamaguchi looked up into his eyes. “Is anything okay?”  
“Of course, why, did something happen?”  
“I don't know what happened, but something definitely did. I noticed you growing a little bit distant. I don't know, did I do something wrong? is there a reason you're avoiding me?” Yamaguchi tried to keep his voice calm, something he was never good at. He’s an idiot, he is probably messing everything up.  
Tsukishima was silent for a few seconds. “You are taking it too seriously. You don't need to worry so much. maybe focus on our practice instead. I am doing well enough to keep up with our games, not that it really matters.” he finally said, each word making Yamaguchi’s heart sink. “I am going to the bathroom before practice starts again, do you need anything else?” Yamaguchi shook his head and turned around. walking a few meters and turning again.   
“Wait! is there really nothing going on? we’re at a training camp, a week full of volleyball, why are you acting like this is an annoying chore you want to avoid? we’re a team! you’re a part of that team, and me too!” Yamaguchi was on the verge of shouting.  
“Calm down.” Tsukishima said. “it is just a team. I am attending practice, that’s all that matters.” he said as he kept walking down the hall. Yamaguchi knew why he didn't want to get attached to the club, but it still hurt. He was a part of that club too! Can Tsukki just ignore him right now because he doesn't want to care about the group? Yamaguchi started walking towards the gym.

the second half of the day was even worse. Yamaguchi knew he made some sort of mistake, and didn't know how to fix it. He did so bad in the afternoon sets, and after a while the coach stopped switching him in, even when they needed a pinch server. He felt so bad about everything, nothing was going right that day. He needed Suga's help again, even though he felt like a huge burden. why would the third-year, who seemed bothered in many thoughts of his own, be so determined to help him?  
After dinner, Yamaguchi told him about the conversation. “Maybe it isn’t the right time.” Suga said. “I don't know why Tsukishima tries not to get attached, but I guess you do. maybe try talking to him after this camp ends. don't mention the club, just your relationship.” for some reason, the use of the word “relationship” instead of “friendship” bugged Yamaguchi.  
“I want him to be happy, but he doesn't let himself be. I want to be what makes him happy. to tell him jokes or just cheer him up. god dammit, I have so much I can give, and I can dedicate everything to him. WHY doesn't he see it?” The words busted out of Yamaguchi's mouth. They sat outside, on another bench behind an empty gym. He was sincere and direct - these were the words he tried to say to Tsukki, but never could. Tsukki was everything for him, the most important person in Yamaguchi's life, who never failed to bring him confidence and comfort, and always put a smile on his face. It only seemed fair Yamaguchi wanted to make Tsukki feel as good as he made him.

Suga looked deep in thought, as he was debating whether or not to say his next line, then he asked, “Have you ever thought what kind of feelings you have for Tsukishima?” Yamaguchi stared at him for a few seconds, then he realised what his senior meant. Shit.   
“No! obviously not, he is my best friend!” he said instantly. He's my best friend and every time I see him I want to hug him and see him genuinely smiling, not just smirking, and to hear him talking to me, and to know he’s there to listen to me. He’s my best friend and he is the most important thing in my world and I want him and everyone else to know that I love him more than anything.  
Of course he loved Tsukki. He loved everything about him and always has. When they just met, it was pure admiration - he viewed Tsukki as perfect, ideal. When they got closer, he started to notice his faults, but with each one he noticed another positive trait. In the past few months, the admiration, appreciation and fondness gave way to a much deeper feeling, although he didn't realise it until Suga said these words. Yamaguchi's mind felt like it’s going to explode, thoughts running like crazy, from “there’s no way, he’s a guy!” to memories of that one time he stayed the night at Tsukki’s and they were so, so close. He buried his face in his hands. "I don't know."  
“Hey, it’s okay. It is totally fine, and normal.” Said Suga, not judging, just supporting. Really, what is it with this guy? has he decided to become Yamaguchi’s adoptive mother? “I’ve been in your place. it’s scary, but you can take your time, think about it” Yamaguchi wanted to ask what Suga meant, but he was too lost in his own head. Suga had unknowingly opened a door to thoughts Yamaguchi didn't even know he repressed.   
“What am I supposed to do??” He said, frustrated. “Not only is Tsukki pushing himself away and I can't reach out to him, I also… I have…” Yamaguchi’s voice faded at the words he still didn't know if he wanted to admit. “I am pathetic.”  
“You are not pathetic, you are in love” Suga said. Yamaguchi nodded. He was? These were such big words, but his emotions were even bigger. He wanted to scream at Tsukki how important he is to him and how much he does love him. But it only made things worse. No way Tsukki felt all of that too, especially now towards him. Sometimes Yamaguchi wondered what positive emotions Tsukki has, he can appreciate and even care about people, he can feel amused and satisfied, but Yamaguchi never thought he saw Tsukki express anything you could define as “love”.  
“What am I supposed to you?” Yamaguchi groaned. “I can't imagine how he can feel any of this towards me, and if I’ll tell him, it will probably just cause him to distance himself even more.”  
“I think being open about your feelings is important, but you can take your time with that. There will be a right time, you will feel it.” Suga said. “It’s clear something’s going on with Tsukishima right now, probably volleyball related, but he will get through it, and you can be there for him. Maybe you don't see it right now, but Tsukishima does care about you. you know him for so long so you may have not realised it, but even when he is distant, he looks at you differently.”  
“really?” Yamaguchi asked. He was aware he was the person Tsukki was the least mean to, but how much did he care?  
“Yes. you help him stay focused, stay confident. Your relationship is one of the most amazing I’ve seen” there, he said “relationship” again, the word that implies there’s something more.  
“But I don't want to ruin what we have now, or had… If he doesn't feel the same way, I’ll screw up everything. It’s one thing to try and fix a friendship and another thing to suddenly tell him I’m-” He stumbled with his words again. He still didn't fully accept anything that was going on. He never had a crush before, no girl ever interested him romantically, but he assumed it would just happen someday. But no, of course it had to be a boy. Not just a boy, but Tsukishima Kei, his best friend and probably the least emotional person he knew.

“You won’t ruin anything.” Suga said, “just take your time.” For a second, Yamaguchi allowed himself to imagine what if. What if he told Tsukki, directly and honestly, exactly how he feels. What if Tsukki will just nod and maybe smile a little bit and say he feels the same. What if they stayed over at his house after the camp and just cuddled while watching a silly cartoon Yamaguchi loved and Tsukki pretended he didn't enjoy as well. No. No point thinking about it now. Suga put his hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder, while he still buried his face in his hands. He was exhausted from the emotional mess this trip was for him.

“I need a distraction” He finally said. “I can’t let this issue completely ruin my first training camp.”  
“Should we go practice?” Suga suggested as they stood up and went to the gym. Yamaguchi didn’t know if he wanted Tsukki to be there or not. He wanted to see him, hang out with him, but maybe not now. He wasn't there. Yamaguchi managed to stay focused most of the time, but sometimes his mind drifted off to imaginary situations that ranged from Tsukki yelling at him after he confessed his feelings and saying he doesn't want to be his friend anymore, to the most cliche-teenage-romantic-movies scenarios. After practice, he went back to the bedroom with Hinata, who apparently didn't ever run out of conversation topics. Yamaguchi considered telling Hinata what’s going on with him, but decided against it. It’s better to keep it to the smallest number of people. It was already quite late, so the room was full of the club members. Tsukki wasn't there for some reason, and he only returned a few minutes before midnight. Yamaguchi wanted to ask him where he had been, but he figured out Tsukki probably wouldn't answer. His heart beat faster than it did after an intense practice. God damn Suga and his honest talks and support, he could've spent the rest of high school trying to win Tsukkis affection, convinced there was no way they would be more than friends, but now he couldn't back out from admitting what he really wanted, even if only to himself, and he knew these feelings won't go away anytime soon.   
"Night Tsukki!" he said as he lied down on the mattress.  
"good night" the other answered. It took Yamaguchi ages to fall asleep, but he slept well, and didn't dream of anything, or anyone.


	5. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this fic! I loved the ride that was writing it!

It was the last day of the training camp, and Suga didn’t feel like he accomplished any significant improvement. He saw a few of his teammates growing with every set they played, whether they won or lost it, but he stayed an averagely fine setter. He wasn’t bad, and he learned a few new techniques from the other setters, but he didn’t have enough opportunities to play, and whenever he was not on the court, he started to get lost in thought.

It really wasn't usual for him. He loved volleyball, and usually kept track of everything that happened on the court, even from the sideline, but he had a thousand different thoughts on his mind now. clearly, the most meaningful thing in this camp for him were the conversations with Yamaguchi. He hoped he was able to give him some good advice, given he was in a very similar problem and never did anything about it.  
Sometimes, the conversations with Yamaguchi felt like Suga was talking to himself. Yamaguchi was somehow describing his feelings exactly. The desire to be close to that one person he admires and loves, the great importance of their current relationship, and the terrible fear of messing everything up just because his heart decided to melt at every time that person looked at him.  
He thought of everything he said to Yamaguchi - that he shouldn't worry, that the best way to solve things is to talk about them and be honest, that he should be there for his friend, that he wouldn't mess up their relationship. He wished he could believe himself, but he was worried, he didn't talk about his feelings with anyone, he felt like he wasn’t enough for Daichi to rely on, and he was definitely scared of their relationship falling apart, along with the team’s spirit. 

Suga planned to keep his emotions down for the next few months, at least until they had to leave the volleyball club. He often imagined himself confessing to Daichi on their last day of school, just to close off this part of their lives. But now, things started stirring in his heart. He felt like a hypocrite, telling Yamaguchi things he convinced himself wouldn't work for him. It's a different situation, Suga told himself. Tsukishima really has been distant, and Yamaguchi was so close to him, they had to fix this situation, and Suga really believed it might work and help Tsukishima get over what’s bothering him so much. On the other hand, Suga felt selfish and whiny. He had no right to demand Daichi’s attention all the time, even if they were close friends. Nothing was wrong with the way Daichi acted, and Suga was aware he was important to him at some level, but most of the time, he just couldn't be satisfied. Suga didn't consider himself selfish most of the time, he loved his friends and wanted the best for them, but when it came to Daichi, he was willing to throw everything aside, and nothing else was important.

a ball slammed on the floor just near his feet and jumped up, almost hitting Suga's face. “out!” someone called and a few people groaned. Right, there was still a match going on. Suga looked at Yamaguchi next to him, his eyes focused on Tsukishima. Suga thought Yamaguchi was really obvious about his crush on Tsukishima, but apparently he realized it before Yamaguchi himself did. The poor boy, Suga didn’t mean to make him so shaken and confused just by pointing out his feelings might not be completely platonic, but he thought it was better if the younger boy was aware of what he felt, maybe he could find a way to deal with it. That’s another thing he felt like a hypocrite about - he wished he wouldn't realize he had a crush on Daichi, and would go through the rest of their third year thinking his heartbeat whenever he spent time with Daichi was racing just because they were close friends. Things would be so much simpler this way.  
A sharp whistle stopped the new train of thought. apparently, they lost the set. Asahi approached him as they were preparing to run up the hill. “Are you feeling alright?” he asked Suga.  
“I’m a little tired,” Suga answered.  
“I saw you falling asleep even before Daichi turned the lights off.” Asahi chuckled as they began running. He was right, lack of sleep wasn't the reason Suga wasn't focused on anything. He debated if he should find a chance to tell Asahi everything, but ruled against it. There were many points in the past when he almost told Yamaguchi, when the other boy said something really relatable, but stopped himself. He didn't want to speak about his feelings with anyone but Daichi, which was the only person he couldn't tell. 

Suga tried to concentrate on the happy vibes of the ending of a good practice camp. many other players exchanged phone numbers with others so they could keep in touch when Karasuno left Tokyo. He enjoyed some parts of the camp, but he hoped he would have another opportunity to play against these strong groups, preferably when he wasn't overthinking about a certain captain.   
After lunch, they got on the bus back home. “We’ll make sure to get to nationals!” Hinata called back to the few Nekoma students standing outside. “We’ll beat you there!”.   
It wasn't official, but there were usual sits for everyone on the bus: Tanaka and Nishinoya sat on the back seat, then Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, then Hinata and Kageyama, then Daichi and Suga, and the managers in the front. on the other side of the aisle, sat Enoshita, Narita, Kinoshita and Asahi. Tanaka and Nishinoya were noisy for the first 15 minutes of the ride, then they stopped talking, and resumed being noisy with the sound of their snoring. Suga tried falling asleep as well, as he didn't have any better way to spend the long drive.   
After who knows how long, Suga woke up when Ukai drove way too fast in a sharp turn, and Daichi fell aside, now leaning on Suga’s shoulder. His head was heavy and the angle he was in was very uncomfortable, but Suga didn’t want to wake him up. 

From two meters behind him, he heard the voice of Yamaguchi, too quiet for Suga to understand what he was saying. He wanted to turn around, but couldn't move because of sleeping Daichi, so he shifted a little bit in his seat and stretched his neck so he could look at the mirror above the driver’s seat. He managed to see Yamaguchi talking to Tsukishima. Yamaguchi looked nervous, looking down and blushing, and Tsukishima listened to him quietly. Everyone else on the bus was asleep except for Ukai and Takeda, who were talking in the front, the radio playing in the background. Suga didn't want to eavesdrop, but he caught a few words, and he was pretty sure he heard the word “like”. Suga couldn't help but smile. Yamaguchi actually listened to his advice, and judging by the fact Tsukishima didn't interrupt, and actually looked calmer, more pleased, than Suga ever saw him. He looked at them, surprised as Tsukishima put his hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. Yamaguchi panicked for a second, but then Tsukishima said something very quietly, and Yamaguchi seemed a hundred times more red than before. It was clear he resisted not to raise his voice like he usually does, but he smiled and said something back to Tsukishima. Then, they were quiet for a few minutes, and Yamaguchi leaned on Tsukishima's arm. He wasn't asleep, just sitting comfortably next to his friend. He was pretty sure he also saw Tsukishima smiling.

Suga tried to return to his original sitting position, careful not to wake Daichi, but it didn't work. The other boy raised his head and blinked. “Are we there yet?”  
Suga shook his head, his mind and heart racing. Yamaguchi did it. The nervous, worried first-year actually mustered up the courage to be honest about how he feels. Suga didn't know what exactly Yamaguchi told Tsukishima - did he ask him what was going on, did he open up about his frustration, or did he actually confess his crush? in any case, it seems to have worked out okay for him.  
But it was different for Suga, he reminded himself. Daichi is too… well, Daichi. They never talked about crushes, but Suga was pretty sure Daichi’s love life was as boring as his own. He was the captain of a rising volleyball club, he was appreciated by everyone and had many friends, and he was probably not interested in Suga in any romantic way.  
Suga looked at the mirror again, and saw Yamaguchi was still leaning on Tsukishima, looking so much calmer than he was during the whole camp. Tsukishima looked pleased too, maybe even relaxed. they radiated happiness, and Suga wasn't sure, but he thought they were holding hands.  
He could do it. This was the right moment, he suddenly knew. Daichi was already leaning back, eyes closed again but not asleep yet. A voice in Sugas head told him to give it up, but he gently touched Daichi’s shoulder. Daichi opened his eyes and turned towards him.  
“Hey, um, Daichi,” Suga swallowed. “I said I can always trust you, tell you anything.” Daichi looked confused until he recalled the conversation from two days earlier. “Well, there is something I have to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this is the end, but not really. I do have the scenes of the confessions written, but I think I'll post them as individual oneshots, because they're also great as stand-alones, so stay tuned for them!

**Author's Note:**

> That's it for the first chapter! I would really appreciate comments and stuff ahh  
> I'll try to update again soon!


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